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AmandaW88,

It's very, very common. You are exactly like many women who might be a little shy or a little embarrassed to figure out what the keys to your own pleasure are. There's nothing to be ashamed of.

Here is a video (you can also read the text) of one of our experts, sex therapist and marriage counselor Dr. Marty Klein, on women and orgasm:

https://www.empowher.com/media/video/woman-cant-orgasm-during-sex-it-sexual-dysfunction-dr-klein-video

And here's another question similar to yours, with a great answer by Rosa:

https://www.empowher.com/community/ask/why-cant-i-orgasm-ive-read-much-subject-and-still-am-having-problems

And a helpful two-part column by HerWriter Shaina Gaul:

https://www.empowher.com/news/herarticle/2009/08/06/why-can’t-i-orgasm-part-i
https://www.empowher.com/news/herarticle/2009/08/06/why-can’t-i-orgasm-part-ii

You might want to check this out, from Planned Parenthood:

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/teen-talk/sex-masturbation/sexual-satisfaction/some-facts-female-orgasm-25404.htm

or these guides to masturbation:

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/masturbation-guide
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/masturbationwomen.htm
http://www.livestrong.com/article/12490-masturbate-guide-women/

After all that, you may think that I think READING is the key to orgasm, LOL! Not at all. I just want you to feel informed and, well, empowered to learn to pleasure yourself. Find some time when you can be by yourself, with no time pressure or threat of being interrupted. Explore, feel, relax. Be patient -- it may not happen right away. But most women can learn how to masturbate themselves to a climax, and after you know what you enjoy, you'll be better able to orgasm during sex as well.

April 7, 2010 - 10:33am

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