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Hi, Anon,

I agree with Alison -- I think that as their son, your husband is the one who speaks to his parents. And I like the ways she suggested that he do it.

But what's happening here is the clash of two dreams. Your in-laws hope to have grandchildren, and you want a life without children. This will be disappointing to them, and sure, they have a right to be disappointed. It doesn't mean, necessarily, that they are disappointed in you or in their son (although that's possible). But it means that something they were looking forward to isn't going to happen. It will take them some time to get used to it and possibly even grieve it.

Think of a woman who wants to have children and can't. This is just an older person's version of that.

If you and your husband are happy and settled with your decision, you can work your way through this piece by piece. You need to stand together and, perhaps once, if it's appropriate, explain your decision. You don't have to go into detail. But it will help them to understand why.

I hope this helps a little. I know this is difficult territory.