made it :), I am almost in a constant state of being crashed, it seems now just how severe it is & I keep telling myself I am going to pull out again and have some improvement, often I don't believe it anymore, but then my body forcing me to lay flat and turn off all stimuli, light , sound, touch, does the job, errr, some of it. enough to finally get me for periods of time to the living-room couch again, and not so painfully to the kitchen & bathroom although there are times I have been unable to do that.
One word really struck me, and it affected my body and CNS, etc, profoundly overwhelming "VIBRATING" from the inside out, like my cells were rubbing against each other with no fluid in-between to cushion them, creating this phenomena. My CNS went throu the roof and the slightest effort to do something made my whole body and CNS vibrate more unnoticeable to any one else of course, meditating was impossible for years. I could feel the energy come out my finger tips unseen, the more I pushed myself the worse it got so did the ME/CFS. I felt I may not be able to live in my body any more with the rest of the symptoms, and that I was going crazy, my eye site was exaggerated, sound, noise, light. I don't see ME/CFS SURVIVORS mention it often, many are not affected this way, for me it lessened after menopause, so did my FM but still remains.
I work with meditation cd's now when I can tolerate them, and positive affirmation journaling , I go in spurts of on/off, and get on that horse again.
Family and friend support 'real life", many ME/CFS survivors do not have that and it makes it a much harder go, with that said when you are really bad off you don't want someone around.
Thank you for sharing and writing, the more than can about this illnesses the more awareness it will bring, and hopefully, as in this article here, some comfort and help to those that read it, that may be able to glean from it, something that will help them.
I find forgiving myself a trap I get into, that after all these years of having ME/CFS, 1991, that I didn't push myself hard enough, or I pushed myself too much. I am a libra, you would think I had balance written across my heart and forehead, unfortunately it has always been a struggle for me and I almost always push boundaries testing.
namaste
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made it :), I am almost in a constant state of being crashed, it seems now just how severe it is & I keep telling myself I am going to pull out again and have some improvement, often I don't believe it anymore, but then my body forcing me to lay flat and turn off all stimuli, light , sound, touch, does the job, errr, some of it. enough to finally get me for periods of time to the living-room couch again, and not so painfully to the kitchen & bathroom although there are times I have been unable to do that.
One word really struck me, and it affected my body and CNS, etc, profoundly overwhelming "VIBRATING" from the inside out, like my cells were rubbing against each other with no fluid in-between to cushion them, creating this phenomena. My CNS went throu the roof and the slightest effort to do something made my whole body and CNS vibrate more unnoticeable to any one else of course, meditating was impossible for years. I could feel the energy come out my finger tips unseen, the more I pushed myself the worse it got so did the ME/CFS. I felt I may not be able to live in my body any more with the rest of the symptoms, and that I was going crazy, my eye site was exaggerated, sound, noise, light. I don't see ME/CFS SURVIVORS mention it often, many are not affected this way, for me it lessened after menopause, so did my FM but still remains.
I work with meditation cd's now when I can tolerate them, and positive affirmation journaling , I go in spurts of on/off, and get on that horse again.
Family and friend support 'real life", many ME/CFS survivors do not have that and it makes it a much harder go, with that said when you are really bad off you don't want someone around.
Thank you for sharing and writing, the more than can about this illnesses the more awareness it will bring, and hopefully, as in this article here, some comfort and help to those that read it, that may be able to glean from it, something that will help them.
I find forgiving myself a trap I get into, that after all these years of having ME/CFS, 1991, that I didn't push myself hard enough, or I pushed myself too much. I am a libra, you would think I had balance written across my heart and forehead, unfortunately it has always been a struggle for me and I almost always push boundaries testing.
January 27, 2010 - 4:34amnamaste
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