Welcome to EmpowHER! And thank you so much for writing.
I'm sorry you and your boyfriend are having a difficult time in the bedroom right now. As you can see if you read some other similar posts on EmpowHER, you are truly not alone. This happens to a lot of couples once the newness of a relationship wears off.
How old are the two of you?
What else is going on in your lives right now? Are you students? Do you both work? Are your jobs stressful right now? Are you having financial problems?
What else has changed since the beginning of your relationship? Do you each have friends of your own? Do you do things individually as well as together?
Have other parts of your relationship changed? For instance, if you used to cuddle all the time, do you still? If you used to talk together a lot, do you still? Do you laugh together? Do you do things like go to dinner or see movies or take hikes or anything like that?
Do you live together? Did the two of you make any kind of commitment to one another, like deciding that you would date only each other? Did you ever talk about engagement or marriage? Or did it not get that far?
Without knowing more yet, I would say that there IS some boredom going on, but that it's more than that. It may be that you are needier than you used to be when the two of you had just started dating, and being needy like that may be closing him down a little. Or it may be that he's under a lot of stress at work and he's bringing it home with him, and that since the two of you are no longer "new," it's easy to constantly put it off until the next day, and the next, and the next. Or it may be (I hope not, but it's possible) that he has become interested in someone else. Is this a possibility?
Take a little time to write us back with some more details and we'll see if we can help.
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Hi, Sarah,
Welcome to EmpowHER! And thank you so much for writing.
I'm sorry you and your boyfriend are having a difficult time in the bedroom right now. As you can see if you read some other similar posts on EmpowHER, you are truly not alone. This happens to a lot of couples once the newness of a relationship wears off.
How old are the two of you?
What else is going on in your lives right now? Are you students? Do you both work? Are your jobs stressful right now? Are you having financial problems?
What else has changed since the beginning of your relationship? Do you each have friends of your own? Do you do things individually as well as together?
Have other parts of your relationship changed? For instance, if you used to cuddle all the time, do you still? If you used to talk together a lot, do you still? Do you laugh together? Do you do things like go to dinner or see movies or take hikes or anything like that?
Do you live together? Did the two of you make any kind of commitment to one another, like deciding that you would date only each other? Did you ever talk about engagement or marriage? Or did it not get that far?
Without knowing more yet, I would say that there IS some boredom going on, but that it's more than that. It may be that you are needier than you used to be when the two of you had just started dating, and being needy like that may be closing him down a little. Or it may be that he's under a lot of stress at work and he's bringing it home with him, and that since the two of you are no longer "new," it's easy to constantly put it off until the next day, and the next, and the next. Or it may be (I hope not, but it's possible) that he has become interested in someone else. Is this a possibility?
Take a little time to write us back with some more details and we'll see if we can help.
December 18, 2009 - 9:23amThis Comment
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