While the Aspie dx does explain so much,some things are still perplexing . Maybe someone out there has some insight. I'd like to understand.About a month ago my undx Aspie mother began her , annual, suggestions that she have thanksgiving at her house. By way of background, this women has been married for 50 years to an anxious successful husband who supports all her obsessions, is devoted to her and does not seem to notice things like the disgustingly messy household. He views her as the social one and relies on her social judgement (Susie, do you think we should bring something with us to dinner?" Oh no dear, it's not necessary" "Susie, the children are asking to go to the zoo. Do you think we should take them ever?" "No, dear its not necessary". Now fast forward to thanksgiving. She dislikes her offspring and their partners except one very aberrant Aspie son who lives across the country and who she has had no interest in even visiting for 20 years. They talk on the phone every day. Maybe she is comforted by distance or maybe the idea of a person is the same as actually seeing him so she has no need. Who knows. When she talks of thanksgiving she has no intentions of inviting him and I think she actively discourages him from ever visiting or seeing his other relatives. I always feel guilt that he is probably alone but she is clueless. Anyway she dislikes her own grandchildren and has a litany of reasons for it. This one did that and that one did not do this. She can rattle off these things about each. She says things under her breath that are heard by all around her-including the person who is the target of her criticism. She dislikes merriment, music, surprises, and makes it clear that what most people like are far beneath her. We have a small family and she has alienated the inlaws for 3 generations and all of them for the current generations. Now she wants all the people she has ignored (relatives living close by) and criticized to come to her house for thanksgiving dinner. So my question is, why? What does she get out of it. She doesn't like them. She doesn't like fun. So why the desire to have these people she hates for dinner?
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While the Aspie dx does explain so much,some things are still perplexing . Maybe someone out there has some insight. I'd like to understand.About a month ago my undx Aspie mother began her , annual, suggestions that she have thanksgiving at her house. By way of background, this women has been married for 50 years to an anxious successful husband who supports all her obsessions, is devoted to her and does not seem to notice things like the disgustingly messy household. He views her as the social one and relies on her social judgement (Susie, do you think we should bring something with us to dinner?" Oh no dear, it's not necessary" "Susie, the children are asking to go to the zoo. Do you think we should take them ever?" "No, dear its not necessary". Now fast forward to thanksgiving. She dislikes her offspring and their partners except one very aberrant Aspie son who lives across the country and who she has had no interest in even visiting for 20 years. They talk on the phone every day. Maybe she is comforted by distance or maybe the idea of a person is the same as actually seeing him so she has no need. Who knows. When she talks of thanksgiving she has no intentions of inviting him and I think she actively discourages him from ever visiting or seeing his other relatives. I always feel guilt that he is probably alone but she is clueless. Anyway she dislikes her own grandchildren and has a litany of reasons for it. This one did that and that one did not do this. She can rattle off these things about each. She says things under her breath that are heard by all around her-including the person who is the target of her criticism. She dislikes merriment, music, surprises, and makes it clear that what most people like are far beneath her. We have a small family and she has alienated the inlaws for 3 generations and all of them for the current generations. Now she wants all the people she has ignored (relatives living close by) and criticized to come to her house for thanksgiving dinner. So my question is, why? What does she get out of it. She doesn't like them. She doesn't like fun. So why the desire to have these people she hates for dinner?
November 18, 2011 - 2:10pmThis Comment
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