I have also tried to understand my mother, while she didn't seem to put any effort in trying to understand me growing up. Now I see that she just doesn't function normally brain wise. It harmed me, and the lack of interaction at home made it very difficult to fit in socially - the rules were so different at home, at friend's places and in school. But most of all the feeling of being unseen and not loved and protected was the worst.
I also suffer from PTSD (from rape and attempted murder when a teenager, but also from prolonged neglect in my childhood). I have gone through years of therapy, and now finally I have put my relationship with my mother on hold until I feel I can cope. I've cut back on my contact with my siblings as well, and this has made me feel better. I realise there are no "have to be nice and loving" and "must cope" when it comes to family relationships that are just too infected by emotional abuse and trauma. Just surrounding myself with good relationships - friends, a loving boyfriend - and seeing other healthy ways to relate around me makes a world of a difference.
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I have also tried to understand my mother, while she didn't seem to put any effort in trying to understand me growing up. Now I see that she just doesn't function normally brain wise. It harmed me, and the lack of interaction at home made it very difficult to fit in socially - the rules were so different at home, at friend's places and in school. But most of all the feeling of being unseen and not loved and protected was the worst.
I also suffer from PTSD (from rape and attempted murder when a teenager, but also from prolonged neglect in my childhood). I have gone through years of therapy, and now finally I have put my relationship with my mother on hold until I feel I can cope. I've cut back on my contact with my siblings as well, and this has made me feel better. I realise there are no "have to be nice and loving" and "must cope" when it comes to family relationships that are just too infected by emotional abuse and trauma. Just surrounding myself with good relationships - friends, a loving boyfriend - and seeing other healthy ways to relate around me makes a world of a difference.
Wish you well,
June 14, 2011 - 1:52amKarro
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