Thank you for this article. There definitely needs to be a forum for people who have been unintentionally abused by parents with aspergers. I'm glad to hear that some people with aspergers parents do have a happy home life, but I'm not one of them. I'm the adult child of a woman with aspergers. As a child I did feel loved, but I was always somewhat distant from other children. I believe my ability to be social was retarded via her parentage. Luckily it wasn't until I grew up that I became overtly abused by her aspergers, because while she was married to my stepdad (my real dad was never in the picture) she took all her anger out on him. But once he finally wised up and left, I became the punching bag. It was a revelation to me to realize she has a problem in her brain, because I was able to see why she keeps insisting that she loves me even though I almost never feel loved by her. She's extremely sensitive and living with her is walking on eggshells; the smallest thing can set her off. I try so hard to be a good daughter, to help her every way I can, to be generous and forgiving and always there for her. But there is no good- there is either perfect or nothing. If I ever make a little mistake, I get scolded like a dog. She is almost never able to be emotionally supportive, though she does give me money when she can and tells me she loves me. I am in deep need of therapy, my life is an utter disaster and I believe much of it is because of my undeveloped social skills and her lack of compassion. She even hates the word compassion because she doesn't understand what it is! I'm coming to realize that just knowing she has aspergers... isn't enough. I still need to protect myself by getting far far away and finding loving people who have the ability to teach me what was missing.
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Thank you for this article. There definitely needs to be a forum for people who have been unintentionally abused by parents with aspergers. I'm glad to hear that some people with aspergers parents do have a happy home life, but I'm not one of them. I'm the adult child of a woman with aspergers. As a child I did feel loved, but I was always somewhat distant from other children. I believe my ability to be social was retarded via her parentage. Luckily it wasn't until I grew up that I became overtly abused by her aspergers, because while she was married to my stepdad (my real dad was never in the picture) she took all her anger out on him. But once he finally wised up and left, I became the punching bag. It was a revelation to me to realize she has a problem in her brain, because I was able to see why she keeps insisting that she loves me even though I almost never feel loved by her. She's extremely sensitive and living with her is walking on eggshells; the smallest thing can set her off. I try so hard to be a good daughter, to help her every way I can, to be generous and forgiving and always there for her. But there is no good- there is either perfect or nothing. If I ever make a little mistake, I get scolded like a dog. She is almost never able to be emotionally supportive, though she does give me money when she can and tells me she loves me. I am in deep need of therapy, my life is an utter disaster and I believe much of it is because of my undeveloped social skills and her lack of compassion. She even hates the word compassion because she doesn't understand what it is! I'm coming to realize that just knowing she has aspergers... isn't enough. I still need to protect myself by getting far far away and finding loving people who have the ability to teach me what was missing.
June 13, 2011 - 7:56pmThis Comment
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