Wow. I wrote the first comment in this thread and am amazed by the number and variety of responses. Thank you all for letting me know that there are others out there with similar kinds of experiences - loss at having such a limited relationship with an AS parent for so long, and estrangements with other family members because of differing perspectives/opinions/loyalties. Re: recovery - I think that maybe knowledge is power, but less so when we are committed primarily to persuading others. I know that my dad would never accept such a label at this point in his life - especialy from a daughter - and that all of my other family members would dismiss my suspision of AS as unhelpful and extremely biased. This would put me right back into the very lonely position of unwanted whistle-blower in a family that is otherwise fine... So I suspect/know alone, and work on accepting myself and all of them - as is. In my case this seems like the most realistic way to build connections within existing (and ever-un-named) limitations; and ultimately it is not consensus but connection that I am really after anyway (I finally see...). Accepting limitations in other peoples ability to connect is no longer a starting place for my own suffering - okay thats not true yet, but it is an important ongoing goal. Plus, finding others in the world who are more capable of the kind of connection that I always did and still do need, will maybe put me in a position to learn how to also respond more fully to that different way of being, and make me a participant in actually getting my needs successfully met. These are my aspirations rather than my accomplishements, of course. Again, I thank you all for your thoughts, and look forward to more..
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Wow. I wrote the first comment in this thread and am amazed by the number and variety of responses. Thank you all for letting me know that there are others out there with similar kinds of experiences - loss at having such a limited relationship with an AS parent for so long, and estrangements with other family members because of differing perspectives/opinions/loyalties. Re: recovery - I think that maybe knowledge is power, but less so when we are committed primarily to persuading others. I know that my dad would never accept such a label at this point in his life - especialy from a daughter - and that all of my other family members would dismiss my suspision of AS as unhelpful and extremely biased. This would put me right back into the very lonely position of unwanted whistle-blower in a family that is otherwise fine... So I suspect/know alone, and work on accepting myself and all of them - as is. In my case this seems like the most realistic way to build connections within existing (and ever-un-named) limitations; and ultimately it is not consensus but connection that I am really after anyway (I finally see...). Accepting limitations in other peoples ability to connect is no longer a starting place for my own suffering - okay thats not true yet, but it is an important ongoing goal. Plus, finding others in the world who are more capable of the kind of connection that I always did and still do need, will maybe put me in a position to learn how to also respond more fully to that different way of being, and make me a participant in actually getting my needs successfully met. These are my aspirations rather than my accomplishements, of course. Again, I thank you all for your thoughts, and look forward to more..
January 12, 2011 - 12:10amThis Comment
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