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One of the things that may be happening right now is a sea change -- today's doctors and psychologists know so much more about Asperger's than they did a couple of generations ago. It is very possible that everything everyone has written here is true.

I think that there will be NT kids of Asperger's parents who read this post who have a true AHA moment -- who see, finally, why they are the way they are. Do I blame the parents for this? No, of course not. People do the best they can. But raising children is hard under the best of circumstances, in which everyone is healthy, mentally and physically. If you add any challenge -- physically or mentally -- on the side of either parent OR child, then raising those children gets more complicated.

I have ADD. I am smart, loving and successful, but I have ADD. I was not diagnosed until I was 43. I had problems throughout my childhood and adulthood due to ADD, and I never understood them. Once I was diagnosed, I was soooo relieved. I knew what was wrong! I could see that my dad had (undiagnosed) ADD, and I could see how it had played into how he raised us and what we learned. Do I blame him for this? Heavens no, anymore than I blame myself for having it. But the understanding is key.

I can see a NT kid of an Asperger's parent reading this post and saying, OH! I finally understand! And that's a real tool for growth and healing. It's not a conviction of the parents. The last person who would do that is Jody Smith. She is all about tools and learning and progress, no matter how slow it is. She is not about throwing guilt at the wall to see where it sticks.

I love the fact that there are Asperger's adults and children of Asperger's parents who are changing the world. It will only get better from your efforts! Thirty years ago, "retarded" was a common term, and now we all know better and do better. I cheer on your efforts and hope we see more of you on EmpowHer!

October 23, 2009 - 8:16am


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