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I really get that one person might enjoy their marriage with an AS person. I don't feel it is fair to say that, that is good. 99.9% of relationships are toxic, abusive and over the top stressful with an AS partner, unless that partner is also AS - even at that - I've read stories of utter exhaustion and co-dependency. Some women ( majority are men) give up some aspect of themselves, their needs, dreams in order to "stay". I question the fact that someone says they are in a healthy relationship with an AS man. It might be, but nothing to hold above others that have not. As it is so rare. Really, there is so much damage done to a NT person. I know! This damage can be un-done, nonetheless a journey back to ones self. I'm watching my daughter grow up with a AS father ( we are not together anymore) and I see. how hard it is. Though it certainly is not close the insanity I had with ( and continue to have) with my AS father. Their brains just cannot activate in certain areas, they struggle to be " normal" with areas working that are able to do the task of the areas that are not working. Therefore it feels impossible, because it mostly is. Yes, it is a mental illness, just like a brain trauma, Bi-polar or any other mental illness. It isn't something to be glorified. The brain has inflammation on top of the areas that do not work. Indeed, it is damaged brain. When someone comes on and tries to glorify it, make light of it, make it normal, I scream! It is NOT. Please do not patronize someone else because you happen to be someone that either suffers through it, or has found some way of accepting the challenges and not having a relationship with an NT. Very few people can deal with an AS partner, very very few. If you truly are happy, awesome! Don't tell other people it can be done, b/c that is unfair.

September 7, 2017 - 11:45am


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