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My mother and brother are Aspies...In response to the last comment, my mother was kind and loyal and considerate in her way, and I have spent the last 57 years validating her feelings, her experiences, her understanding of things. I know that she cares about me, but in many ways, I am invisible to her. And I'm sorry your feelings are hurt, can you imagine that our feelings are hurt as well? Profoundly?

I would love to talk more with adult children of parents with Asperger's. I am still coming to grips with how it has affected me and how it has limited me. And, yes, the description in the article of children expecting to be ignored, expecting to be interrupted, expecting to be less than nothing describes my experiences. I'm still trying to crawl out of that hole and would be grateful for any hand up offered.

Recognizing that she has a syndrome was a revelation to me and helped immensely with any anger issues...knowing she can't help how she is, helps me deal with it. My own childhood coping strategies involved having as many pets as were permitted. I still find animal companions a solace in providing the kind of unconditional love that was lacking. I ended up teaching high school. As my niece pointed out, teenagers are the most self-involved age group - so I can handle them well, but on the other hand, they give back a lot to me emotionally. So I've spent a great deal of my life building huge networks of relationships to repair the damage done early.

I have two sons, and I have made a point to be involved in their lives and to be interested in their interests and to care about what they care about. I think they're ok - I hope the damage is limited to one generation, though my niece, having a similar childhood to mine, has a lot to cope with as well. Glad this subject is coming to light, hearing other people's stories helps. Sharing mine helps.

I notice how unusually long all these comments are. We have a lifetime's worth of things to say to people

April 13, 2013 - 7:21pm


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