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(reply to babyfacemagee)

I am a parent with AS of 4 young children (including a set of twins and a surprise baby). I really would like (need!) to hear from other adults/ teens how it was growing up with an Aspie parent. Here in US it would cost around $29, 000 USD to send them to day care or hire a nanny. We will God willing be hiring a part-time nanny to help out. But I get enraged at stupid small things. My dad is Aspergers/ autistic and so I know how it was to be raised by a strict, angry dad and I try to do the opposite but then I see dirty baseboards, a cupboard not closet, dust in the drawers and I loose it. All the information comes at the same time, I feel helpless and then the WORSE is that I allow myself to feel ENTITLED that my oldest kid (usually) should clean, for no good reason. I've been in therapy on and off 2 years total. I took severe parenting classes on my own will but that were designed for parents whose children were taken by Child Protective Services (6 months).

What is helping the most is praying and realizing God does not accept my nasty behavior, especially towards innocent human beings. Now I am at the point of writing empathy statements when I hit, or am mean with the kids and it is tearing me up inside, which is good, I do deserve it and I am realizing how shitty it is for them. How do I release my rage? I am in an apartment and can't easily scream/ break stuff, would a boxing dummy work? Any ideas? Also how to get my husband to understand that I seriously am not nice sometimes with the kids, and that this is NOT normal? Like he is kind of a pushover and just doesn't want to deal with my moods at times or thinks yeah ok one of the kids was misbehaving and deserved to be punished (he doesn't really think about it). Any comments for him I can forward too so we can both make sure our kids stay happy and live a half normal life.
Another thing is when I was 9 I was taken from my mom and I hated it so much, I really wanted my abusive mom back. My son has been going to family for longer stays (half a month) but then he cries so bad to come back it tears me apart. I seem okay with the other kids when he is not there and hubby has noticed that too, that I unfairly take it out on him. Please anyone raised by an Aspie parent help me know how it was. if you can message or reply with email then I can also get back confidentially.
Thank you humbly.

July 19, 2012 - 5:00pm


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