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(reply to Anonymous)

WOAH, ok, Let me just say that I wrote that on a better day. I do not have Aspergers. Well that is not true, I have a hubbie, daughter, 2 sister-in-laws, autistic bro-in-law, niece and nephew and both in-laws on one side of the family and as far as I can tell an uncle and a Grandfather on the other! All with AS. But I personally am as Neurotypical as they come! To that end I have studied and read as much as I can on the subject and try to be positive and try to see both sides. I also know exactly what it is like to feel accused and blamed. YES. And lonely! I absolutely feel for you. I know exactly what it is like to ask for emotional support and not receive what I need despite my hubbie being kind and well meaning. But he doesn't get what I am needing.
I showed my daughter what I wrote and she said it was written like an Aspie - oop's, VERY SORRY. That was my neurotypical daughter by the way who often feels hurt!
I guess what Tony Attwood was meaning is that if left to how they wanna/?need to live they wouldn't be upset and to be fair people who don't understand Aspies (most people) do shun them and struggle to connect with them. I do however know that people who live with them also suffer and by all accounts it can be great suffering. I understand that the divorce rate is 80% for couples. I know children that leave home early because of the relationships and from what I have read recently adult children who have grown in Aspie homes have had a dreadful time and struggle with relationships and felt abused even.
Dare I suggest I am not a cold-hearted jerk, I do believe personally that it is a disorder not a difference! Yikes now I shall have the Aspies on my back. I do wonder though if your Mum had teaching/support/diagnosis and acceptance of the diagnosis when she first bore you maybe someone could have helped her be better to you? Maybe not but I would like to see people try for their childrens benefit. I hope you have someone you know who understands what it is like for you because it is hard and extremely frustrating. I don't think for one minute that you don't try to understand - you are probably in a position now where you are an expert on the matter. Some days I hate Aspergers Syndrome with everything inside of me. Not the people, though I must confess to feeling angry with them at times. But I used to say to my daughter If your Dad was in a wheelchair you wouldn't expect him to play soccer! He does have Aspergers and there are some things he has difficulty with.
Anyway, I talk too much. I do know something of your frustration though I didn't grow up with it which probably helps. Have you read Kathy Marshack's book? She understands, I think her mother had Aspergers. Take care.

May 18, 2012 - 4:27am

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