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Anonymous
This is ridiculous. Welcome to the 21st century. If you're boyfriend is watching porn, good for him. He's been able to get over his shame about masturbation enough to enjoy it. Because there is nothing wrong with masturbation. In fact, you should consider giving it a try. It teaches you what you like in bed, makes you aware of what works for you. And not only that, it's completely different from sex. My boyfriend masturbates all the time, and it has no impact on our sexual relationship. Porn and masturbation are probably not the source of your problem. If he doesn't want to have sex with you, then something else is probably up. Masturbation is an alone activity, an activity that relieves stress and is low maintenance. Perhaps he's not sure he's comfortable with having sex with you regularly yet. How about talking to him about how you're feeling, explaining that you miss him and would like to be having sex at some point. Let him know you're there. You can also offer to watch porn with him, or to try something he liked from porn. If you don't like porn at all (which is fine) then you should explain why you don't like it, what about you doesn't really turn you on. If you can't get over him liking porn, then you might want to reconsider why you're with this man.
I understand that porn addiction is a growing problem for some people. And I've been there and seen that. But you can't blame porn for the problems in your relationship. You and your boyfriend are the only things that can control your relationship together. Everything that happens in a relationship is about the way both you and him are feeling. Obviously something is out of wack. I suggest an increase in constructive communication. If that doesn't work, couples therapy couldn't hurt.
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This is ridiculous. Welcome to the 21st century. If you're boyfriend is watching porn, good for him. He's been able to get over his shame about masturbation enough to enjoy it. Because there is nothing wrong with masturbation. In fact, you should consider giving it a try. It teaches you what you like in bed, makes you aware of what works for you. And not only that, it's completely different from sex. My boyfriend masturbates all the time, and it has no impact on our sexual relationship. Porn and masturbation are probably not the source of your problem. If he doesn't want to have sex with you, then something else is probably up. Masturbation is an alone activity, an activity that relieves stress and is low maintenance. Perhaps he's not sure he's comfortable with having sex with you regularly yet. How about talking to him about how you're feeling, explaining that you miss him and would like to be having sex at some point. Let him know you're there. You can also offer to watch porn with him, or to try something he liked from porn. If you don't like porn at all (which is fine) then you should explain why you don't like it, what about you doesn't really turn you on. If you can't get over him liking porn, then you might want to reconsider why you're with this man.
I understand that porn addiction is a growing problem for some people. And I've been there and seen that. But you can't blame porn for the problems in your relationship. You and your boyfriend are the only things that can control your relationship together. Everything that happens in a relationship is about the way both you and him are feeling. Obviously something is out of wack. I suggest an increase in constructive communication. If that doesn't work, couples therapy couldn't hurt.
October 5, 2009 - 5:35amThis Comment
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