I'm in a really similar situation and have been trying to figure out what's wrong. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years. He says he loves me and is very attracted to me, that I am the most beautiful woman in the world etc. but his actions don't line up. He is really affectionate and is always kissing and touching me, but never in a more sexual way. If I try to start making out and touch his body more suggestively he will pull away and start doing something else as if he didn't get what I was implying. He never looks at me with desire when I'm naked, he laughs or shrugs it off if I send him flirty texts or sexy pictures. He's really awkward and doesn't seem to understand my usually very obvious attempts to turn him on, or maybe he's just pretending so we don't have to have sex. Sometimes I have to come out and say the words, and then he'll usually act annoyed like it's a bother and say he's too tired or has a headache, all the usual excuses. It makes me feel so unsexy and unwanted, and the thing is it's been this way since the beginning! But when we do have sex it IS great, he always comes and seems to enjoy it, and he takes care of me and makes sure I am satisfied too. We have talked about it and I almost broke up with him over it and now he is trying to make an effort to have more sex. But that doesn't feel good either because I want him to naturally be turned on my me, not to have to "try"!! So now when we have sex I feel like he is just doing it out of pity or whatever, which doesn't get ME turned on. He says the words and tries to start foreplay but I just don't believe that he is actually sexually attracted. What is the problem?! Are we just mismatched, does he have a low libido, is he maybe even asexual?! It makes me really frustrated :(
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I'm in a really similar situation and have been trying to figure out what's wrong. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years. He says he loves me and is very attracted to me, that I am the most beautiful woman in the world etc. but his actions don't line up. He is really affectionate and is always kissing and touching me, but never in a more sexual way. If I try to start making out and touch his body more suggestively he will pull away and start doing something else as if he didn't get what I was implying. He never looks at me with desire when I'm naked, he laughs or shrugs it off if I send him flirty texts or sexy pictures. He's really awkward and doesn't seem to understand my usually very obvious attempts to turn him on, or maybe he's just pretending so we don't have to have sex. Sometimes I have to come out and say the words, and then he'll usually act annoyed like it's a bother and say he's too tired or has a headache, all the usual excuses. It makes me feel so unsexy and unwanted, and the thing is it's been this way since the beginning! But when we do have sex it IS great, he always comes and seems to enjoy it, and he takes care of me and makes sure I am satisfied too. We have talked about it and I almost broke up with him over it and now he is trying to make an effort to have more sex. But that doesn't feel good either because I want him to naturally be turned on my me, not to have to "try"!! So now when we have sex I feel like he is just doing it out of pity or whatever, which doesn't get ME turned on. He says the words and tries to start foreplay but I just don't believe that he is actually sexually attracted. What is the problem?! Are we just mismatched, does he have a low libido, is he maybe even asexual?! It makes me really frustrated :(
January 21, 2016 - 6:08pmThis Comment
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