Anon, thank you so much for your question. And welcome to EmpowHer. We're so glad you're here.
I can tell what a good soul you are by the questions you ask and by how you have stood by your former mother-in-law through this illness. I'm so sorry that it seems as though she is not doing as well now. When we are close to someone who's suffering, we suffer too. I can tell that's the case for you.
Why has her family withdrawn from her? She IS a true miracle to have beaten pancreatic cancer for four years. Are there issues in the family surrounding her illness? Or is it just a dysfunctional family that can't really handle what's going on?
Do you think that her health going downhill is due to them withdrawing from her? Does she seem depressed about it?
Do you have more of an idea of what "counts" she is talking about? I am assuming that it is some sort of blood cell count but it's hard to tell what it could mean without more detail.
There are lots of things that might be going on here. First, of course the cancer could be recurring, which is something that she must have on her mind even though she says there are no signs. But even if that is not the case, she's clearly got something going on with her stomach or digestive system, or she would be able to keep food other than ice cream down.
So nothing else stays down? Not even broth, ginger ale, crackers? The normal things that soothe a troubled stomach?
If she thinks that there are no signs of cancer, does she tell you what her doctor says about why she is going downhill?
If there isn't anything medical that she wants done, and if she's not able to eat well to get nutrition or to exercise much, it sort of starts an avalanche of other symptoms. The lack of nutrition makes her weak. The weakness makes her fatigued. The fatigue makes her not want to do anything. That can turn into depression very easily. Depression makes you withdraw, and not be able to function well. And then you take another step downhill, and feel even worse. See how they all can be linked?
You are doing exactly what you can do -- you are there for her. You are giving her support and you are close to her, and she knows that. She knows she's not alone, and that's a huge gift.
Does she take herself to the doctor, or does someone go with her? Is there any chance she would let you or her other friend go with her to an appointment and help her ask questions and take notes?
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Anon, thank you so much for your question. And welcome to EmpowHer. We're so glad you're here.
I can tell what a good soul you are by the questions you ask and by how you have stood by your former mother-in-law through this illness. I'm so sorry that it seems as though she is not doing as well now. When we are close to someone who's suffering, we suffer too. I can tell that's the case for you.
Why has her family withdrawn from her? She IS a true miracle to have beaten pancreatic cancer for four years. Are there issues in the family surrounding her illness? Or is it just a dysfunctional family that can't really handle what's going on?
Do you think that her health going downhill is due to them withdrawing from her? Does she seem depressed about it?
Do you have more of an idea of what "counts" she is talking about? I am assuming that it is some sort of blood cell count but it's hard to tell what it could mean without more detail.
There are lots of things that might be going on here. First, of course the cancer could be recurring, which is something that she must have on her mind even though she says there are no signs. But even if that is not the case, she's clearly got something going on with her stomach or digestive system, or she would be able to keep food other than ice cream down.
So nothing else stays down? Not even broth, ginger ale, crackers? The normal things that soothe a troubled stomach?
If she thinks that there are no signs of cancer, does she tell you what her doctor says about why she is going downhill?
If there isn't anything medical that she wants done, and if she's not able to eat well to get nutrition or to exercise much, it sort of starts an avalanche of other symptoms. The lack of nutrition makes her weak. The weakness makes her fatigued. The fatigue makes her not want to do anything. That can turn into depression very easily. Depression makes you withdraw, and not be able to function well. And then you take another step downhill, and feel even worse. See how they all can be linked?
You are doing exactly what you can do -- you are there for her. You are giving her support and you are close to her, and she knows that. She knows she's not alone, and that's a huge gift.
Does she take herself to the doctor, or does someone go with her? Is there any chance she would let you or her other friend go with her to an appointment and help her ask questions and take notes?
July 6, 2009 - 9:36amThis Comment
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