To all that have responded....This is not a whim....we have been dating a year and see each other at least once a month. And we have had sex and it just keeps improving. Just asking him now if there are any other issues that I am not aware of and he said no. I believe that we have the issues that most relationships have considering it is long distance. He is the one that asked me to move in with him. He always apologizes because he feels guilty because he wants to love me unconditionally but he can't because of my weight. I think because he made the choice he did that he truly does love me unconditionally, but has not realized the depth of it yet. I am not making excuses for what he is or is not attracted to. I like handsome men, but if they are stupid, well then I won't date them. I feel blessed that he sees more in me than just my weight. I appreciate his honesty in regards to my weight. Oddly enough, he is the one that initiates the sex...so I think in my heart he is attracted to me, but because of his opinion on overweight people his entire life, falling in love with an obese woman wasn't in his plans and does not quite know how to deal with it.
I am not purely focused on what he wants. What I do want is to see if we can have a "normal relationship." If such thing exists. I am smart enough to know that long distance relationships only go so far. I feel blessed that he is attracted to my personality and my brains. He said the only thing missing for him is the weight. He even said to me that it probably wouldnt take me losing that much weight. I also feel good about him because he is supportive of my weight loss. He encouraged me to join weight watchers and calls me in the morning to wake me up and says "Time for Zumba sleepyhead" and he tells me he is proud of me when I dont feel well and still work out.
Writing all this has made me realize that my insecurities because of my weight do tend to make me clingy sometimes and I think when I get clingy and started needing reasssurance all the time, it probably gets old for him. I am also a woman that tends to really over think things because I was cheated on in my past.
Thank you for all the feedback, it is truly appreciated. :)
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To all that have responded....This is not a whim....we have been dating a year and see each other at least once a month. And we have had sex and it just keeps improving. Just asking him now if there are any other issues that I am not aware of and he said no. I believe that we have the issues that most relationships have considering it is long distance. He is the one that asked me to move in with him. He always apologizes because he feels guilty because he wants to love me unconditionally but he can't because of my weight. I think because he made the choice he did that he truly does love me unconditionally, but has not realized the depth of it yet. I am not making excuses for what he is or is not attracted to. I like handsome men, but if they are stupid, well then I won't date them. I feel blessed that he sees more in me than just my weight. I appreciate his honesty in regards to my weight. Oddly enough, he is the one that initiates the sex...so I think in my heart he is attracted to me, but because of his opinion on overweight people his entire life, falling in love with an obese woman wasn't in his plans and does not quite know how to deal with it.
I am not purely focused on what he wants. What I do want is to see if we can have a "normal relationship." If such thing exists. I am smart enough to know that long distance relationships only go so far. I feel blessed that he is attracted to my personality and my brains. He said the only thing missing for him is the weight. He even said to me that it probably wouldnt take me losing that much weight. I also feel good about him because he is supportive of my weight loss. He encouraged me to join weight watchers and calls me in the morning to wake me up and says "Time for Zumba sleepyhead" and he tells me he is proud of me when I dont feel well and still work out.
Writing all this has made me realize that my insecurities because of my weight do tend to make me clingy sometimes and I think when I get clingy and started needing reasssurance all the time, it probably gets old for him. I am also a woman that tends to really over think things because I was cheated on in my past.
Thank you for all the feedback, it is truly appreciated. :)
June 14, 2009 - 5:49pmThis Comment
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