Well first congratulate yourself for opening the doors of communication with him. Us guys are not always taught how to communicate on the emotional level and can have a very difficult time doing it.
Next, it is really hard for anyone to offer accurate advise on a situation without seeing the complete picture. Did he say how you were annoying him? Did you ask? Give this situation a break for a day or two then approach it at an appropriate time and find out more information. If he doesn't want to give it to you let him know that you understand it is hard to talk about, but you need to know. This will most likely get emotional for both of you so be prepared. If he cannot answer right away don't press for a quick answer. If you do you will most likely get anger and hurtful comments from him.
Try not to throw this in his face but you as his partner for 3 years know that you are entitled to answers. Don't give him the answers either.. That can be hard not to do. Allow him to discover them himself. If he can't answer give him some time to think about it (a couple of days, make a date and time to continue to conversation).
They say that hind sight is 20/20 and I do believe that, however, no matter what happens with this situation you can definitely take what you have learned form this and apply it to anything in the future. If you ever run into this problem again don't wait 3 years to approach it. If you are with someone and you don't share what your needs and desires are, then try to change after 3 years it might seem to him like you are being annoying.. I know that sounds horrible, but it is only annoying for him because he is used to the way things were. Change is difficult for some but can happen. It just needs to happen gradually. If you try to bend the situation too quickly it can break.
If you approach this situation with clarity and emotional stability(very challenging) and there is no solution available, then you might need to seek the comfort of your close friends and move on.
Good luck and don't forget to keep on loving yourself! <- that sounds cheesy but is necessary
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Well first congratulate yourself for opening the doors of communication with him. Us guys are not always taught how to communicate on the emotional level and can have a very difficult time doing it.
Next, it is really hard for anyone to offer accurate advise on a situation without seeing the complete picture. Did he say how you were annoying him? Did you ask? Give this situation a break for a day or two then approach it at an appropriate time and find out more information. If he doesn't want to give it to you let him know that you understand it is hard to talk about, but you need to know. This will most likely get emotional for both of you so be prepared. If he cannot answer right away don't press for a quick answer. If you do you will most likely get anger and hurtful comments from him.
Try not to throw this in his face but you as his partner for 3 years know that you are entitled to answers. Don't give him the answers either.. That can be hard not to do. Allow him to discover them himself. If he can't answer give him some time to think about it (a couple of days, make a date and time to continue to conversation).
They say that hind sight is 20/20 and I do believe that, however, no matter what happens with this situation you can definitely take what you have learned form this and apply it to anything in the future. If you ever run into this problem again don't wait 3 years to approach it. If you are with someone and you don't share what your needs and desires are, then try to change after 3 years it might seem to him like you are being annoying.. I know that sounds horrible, but it is only annoying for him because he is used to the way things were. Change is difficult for some but can happen. It just needs to happen gradually. If you try to bend the situation too quickly it can break.
If you approach this situation with clarity and emotional stability(very challenging) and there is no solution available, then you might need to seek the comfort of your close friends and move on.
Good luck and don't forget to keep on loving yourself! <- that sounds cheesy but is necessary
March 17, 2011 - 11:10amThis Comment
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