Not sure if this was mentioned in any of the comments, and if it has I apologize for repeating it.
I strongly believe that he is NOT cheating on you ("you" being the original person who submitted this post). Men and women alike when commiting adultery/infidelity show signs of their mischeviousness. They act different and if anything their sex drives INCREASE rather then decrease. A sure signal of something is going on is when his/her sex drive increases out of the blue. Unfortunately its not because of you they want sex because when they are having sex with you, they are thinking of the other person they are cheating on you with. Its a way to "make due" until they have the chance to be with that person again.
The beginning of relationships don't count as him/her possibly cheating on you. You are both new to each other and exploring each other as much as possible so of course the sex drive is fantastic at first. Eventually the sex drive tends to deplete after you both have become comfortable with each other.
All men are different and if your guy is extremely busy, it could be that sex is the last thing on his mind. The joys of stress.
His low sex drive could be a sign of depression. Sex drives can cease to exist with people who are depressed. Depression is not easily noticed with men. They hold everything in and make on that everything in life is fine. Thats how they are mentally built from the day they were born. To men its a sign of "weakness" and will deny being depressed until proven.
There are many different factors sweetie and I doubt it's because he is cheating on you.
The lack of communication with him is what is hurting you the most. Men will not openly fess up what is wrong. Again, to them they feel weak if they show any kind of emotion or speak of their feelings. Its a man's human nature.
There are ways of prying out information without looking like the "whiney, needy nag". Being assertive and talking with him to express how your feeling about your sex life is easier said then done. Sex is a very touchy subject and to learn the skills of being able to discuss it with your boyfriend is no easy task.
My best suggestion is to write a letter to him explaining how you feel (without pointing the finger by blaming him for the reasons you are unhappy). Writing him a letter is much easier to get out everything you need to say without being interrupted or a full blown arguement erupting.
Give him your letter and allow him to read it alone. Do not give it to him on his way to work or school as it will cause unneccessary stresses. Give it to him when he is home and give him space to read it. Ask that he reply with whatever he is feeling in a letter back to you.
Once you get the letter, you read it alone. Let it sit in, read it again over and over again before making any hasty judgements. Try to understand what he is saying and accept what he has to say. No matter what he has to say, you have to accept it because remember, he also had to read what you wrote him and he had to accept what you had to say.
Once you had enough time to soak in what he had to say, talk to him.
Writing a letter first is an ice breaker and it allows you both to get out everything you been meaning to say, but hard to say to each other face to face with out interruptions.
This can open a whole new window of communication.
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Hey all,
Not sure if this was mentioned in any of the comments, and if it has I apologize for repeating it.
I strongly believe that he is NOT cheating on you ("you" being the original person who submitted this post). Men and women alike when commiting adultery/infidelity show signs of their mischeviousness. They act different and if anything their sex drives INCREASE rather then decrease. A sure signal of something is going on is when his/her sex drive increases out of the blue. Unfortunately its not because of you they want sex because when they are having sex with you, they are thinking of the other person they are cheating on you with. Its a way to "make due" until they have the chance to be with that person again.
The beginning of relationships don't count as him/her possibly cheating on you. You are both new to each other and exploring each other as much as possible so of course the sex drive is fantastic at first. Eventually the sex drive tends to deplete after you both have become comfortable with each other.
All men are different and if your guy is extremely busy, it could be that sex is the last thing on his mind. The joys of stress.
His low sex drive could be a sign of depression. Sex drives can cease to exist with people who are depressed. Depression is not easily noticed with men. They hold everything in and make on that everything in life is fine. Thats how they are mentally built from the day they were born. To men its a sign of "weakness" and will deny being depressed until proven.
There are many different factors sweetie and I doubt it's because he is cheating on you.
The lack of communication with him is what is hurting you the most. Men will not openly fess up what is wrong. Again, to them they feel weak if they show any kind of emotion or speak of their feelings. Its a man's human nature.
There are ways of prying out information without looking like the "whiney, needy nag". Being assertive and talking with him to express how your feeling about your sex life is easier said then done. Sex is a very touchy subject and to learn the skills of being able to discuss it with your boyfriend is no easy task.
My best suggestion is to write a letter to him explaining how you feel (without pointing the finger by blaming him for the reasons you are unhappy). Writing him a letter is much easier to get out everything you need to say without being interrupted or a full blown arguement erupting.
Give him your letter and allow him to read it alone. Do not give it to him on his way to work or school as it will cause unneccessary stresses. Give it to him when he is home and give him space to read it. Ask that he reply with whatever he is feeling in a letter back to you.
Once you get the letter, you read it alone. Let it sit in, read it again over and over again before making any hasty judgements. Try to understand what he is saying and accept what he has to say. No matter what he has to say, you have to accept it because remember, he also had to read what you wrote him and he had to accept what you had to say.
Once you had enough time to soak in what he had to say, talk to him.
Writing a letter first is an ice breaker and it allows you both to get out everything you been meaning to say, but hard to say to each other face to face with out interruptions.
This can open a whole new window of communication.
I hope it works for ya.
March 3, 2010 - 5:42pmThis Comment
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