The sentence that worries me the most in your post is this: "I am always satisfying him and getting nothing in return."
With that sort of imbalance going on, the relationship is just not going to make it without something changing. As a loving partner, he should be concerned with your feelings and either act on them or tell you that something else is going on (like stress, work, etc) in such a way that it makes sense to you.
Can you give us an idea of how much this has changed? For instance, how often did you have sex in the beginning, and how often do you have sex now?
It is very very common for a new couple to be crazy in love and lust, and to have sex all the time. At some point, the couple has been together long enough that the newness wears off and daily life intrudes again, which is what it sounds like here. At that point, you get a picture of what the relationship might be like long-term. For instance, this isn't just about sex. It is about problem-solving, i.e. When there is a difficulty, do the two of you work together to talk about it and solve it, or is there an imbalance?
Of course you feel hurt and insecure; you are feeing rejected and unwanted. Are you normally more of a needy person? Do you have your own life, with job, friends, activities? Or has some of that gone by the wayside since you've been in this relationship? I'm asking that because sometimes we make a person TOO important to us.
Comment Reply
Anon,
The sentence that worries me the most in your post is this: "I am always satisfying him and getting nothing in return."
With that sort of imbalance going on, the relationship is just not going to make it without something changing. As a loving partner, he should be concerned with your feelings and either act on them or tell you that something else is going on (like stress, work, etc) in such a way that it makes sense to you.
Can you give us an idea of how much this has changed? For instance, how often did you have sex in the beginning, and how often do you have sex now?
It is very very common for a new couple to be crazy in love and lust, and to have sex all the time. At some point, the couple has been together long enough that the newness wears off and daily life intrudes again, which is what it sounds like here. At that point, you get a picture of what the relationship might be like long-term. For instance, this isn't just about sex. It is about problem-solving, i.e. When there is a difficulty, do the two of you work together to talk about it and solve it, or is there an imbalance?
Of course you feel hurt and insecure; you are feeing rejected and unwanted. Are you normally more of a needy person? Do you have your own life, with job, friends, activities? Or has some of that gone by the wayside since you've been in this relationship? I'm asking that because sometimes we make a person TOO important to us.
Thoughts?
November 2, 2009 - 8:44amThis Comment
Reply