I am yet another girl with the same problem. When I was single before meeting my bf, I used to get a lot of attention from guys...it felt awesome. Now all I do is think back to those days and get very depressed. When my bf and I first got together, we had sex a lot. Not every day, but often enough that I was satisfied. A few months into the relationship, we ran into some stress when I found out that he was in debt with a credit card, and when I bailed him out, sex stopped. I can see how that'd be stressful. He repaid me, got out of debt, saved money, and we had sex again, but very seldom. Since then, it's gotten worse and worse. At first, I was feeling bad that it was only once a week if I was lucky. Then, every two weeks was it. Now, we've gone for over two months without so much as a makeout. We've now been together for over 4 years and this has been an issue since our first year together. He cuddles, he loves, he's an awesome boyfriend in EVERY *other* way. He's always telling me how much he loves me, hugging me, giving me pecks, telling me how cute I am etc, and he lives with me and we're pretty much never apart. He is not cheating. And yes, I know for sure. We have talked about the sex issue so many times now that I just don't talk about it anymore with him. It can only sometimes make a temporary, superficial improvement. He says "I don't know what's wrong, I think you're sexy, blah. I'll work on it." Then, for AT BEST two weeks I will notice a difference, we'll get intimate more often (and i don't just mean sex, but making out/touching) and then BAM! It's gone as suddenly as it came. I've told him that I just can't marry him if he won't put any more effort into this area, but even though he wants to get married, here I am posting on this website. After the first year, I got soooooo depressed that I started eating the kind of junk he's always eaten, instead of bunny food like I was used to. So to make matters worse, I've gained weight because of this crap... because I stopped caring if I looked sexy for him because I don't get sex! Like someone else that posted on here, my bf can even have a boner and still not try anything. It's even happened before that I've given him oral for a few minutes, and then THAT'S IT. Seriously? He enjoyed it, and I stopped before "finishing" to provide a window for other things, but nothing. I used to love giving oral but now I feel its not fair for him to get what I can't. Now I keep thinking about other men, and even the last few times we did have sex, I had to think of another guy just to get into it. I love him so much, but I don't even think of him that way anymore it seems. I'll never cheat, but if just *thinking* about it counts, then I've been cheating on him a lot. I have NO self esteem (most esp. around him) at this point so seduction isn't even an option.
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I am yet another girl with the same problem. When I was single before meeting my bf, I used to get a lot of attention from guys...it felt awesome. Now all I do is think back to those days and get very depressed. When my bf and I first got together, we had sex a lot. Not every day, but often enough that I was satisfied. A few months into the relationship, we ran into some stress when I found out that he was in debt with a credit card, and when I bailed him out, sex stopped. I can see how that'd be stressful. He repaid me, got out of debt, saved money, and we had sex again, but very seldom. Since then, it's gotten worse and worse. At first, I was feeling bad that it was only once a week if I was lucky. Then, every two weeks was it. Now, we've gone for over two months without so much as a makeout. We've now been together for over 4 years and this has been an issue since our first year together. He cuddles, he loves, he's an awesome boyfriend in EVERY *other* way. He's always telling me how much he loves me, hugging me, giving me pecks, telling me how cute I am etc, and he lives with me and we're pretty much never apart. He is not cheating. And yes, I know for sure. We have talked about the sex issue so many times now that I just don't talk about it anymore with him. It can only sometimes make a temporary, superficial improvement. He says "I don't know what's wrong, I think you're sexy, blah. I'll work on it." Then, for AT BEST two weeks I will notice a difference, we'll get intimate more often (and i don't just mean sex, but making out/touching) and then BAM! It's gone as suddenly as it came. I've told him that I just can't marry him if he won't put any more effort into this area, but even though he wants to get married, here I am posting on this website. After the first year, I got soooooo depressed that I started eating the kind of junk he's always eaten, instead of bunny food like I was used to. So to make matters worse, I've gained weight because of this crap... because I stopped caring if I looked sexy for him because I don't get sex! Like someone else that posted on here, my bf can even have a boner and still not try anything. It's even happened before that I've given him oral for a few minutes, and then THAT'S IT. Seriously? He enjoyed it, and I stopped before "finishing" to provide a window for other things, but nothing. I used to love giving oral but now I feel its not fair for him to get what I can't. Now I keep thinking about other men, and even the last few times we did have sex, I had to think of another guy just to get into it. I love him so much, but I don't even think of him that way anymore it seems. I'll never cheat, but if just *thinking* about it counts, then I've been cheating on him a lot. I have NO self esteem (most esp. around him) at this point so seduction isn't even an option.
October 30, 2009 - 10:05pmThis Comment
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