Cathy, I just want to thank you so much for this article! I think it's sad that some people don't see the compassion behind it. Accepting yourself as you are and choosing to be happy with your shape doesn't mean others should be judged for struggling and trying something different to make their life easier. All the power to those that are happy with themselves! But we all have different needs and paths.
To the person saying that you calling this a deformity could hurt peoples' self esteem, and how unempowering this is, I completely disagree. This is a medically recognized deformity, and there's plenty of clinical, cold literature out there for people to read about it. It impacts the lives of those who live with it, some more than others, and yet because it's an embarrassing topic there's so little real discussion about it.. Leaving many to feel very alone.
I too grew up confused about why my breasts didn't look like everyone else's, asymmetrical (one A cup, one B cup), big puffy areolas, far apart. Of course I thought they looked ugly, but worse to me were the heavily padded bras required to hide them. No bras fit properly, I avoided swimsuits/water like the plague, gave up on lots of styles of clothes I'd love to wear but couldn't, etc. None of my boyfriends ever had a problem with them, they just thought they were small but said they loved them. My long term ex forbade me from plastic surgery, when I mentioned the thought of it. At the time I just tried to reinforce accepting myself and suffered the horribly uncomfortable bras. When I was in my mid-20's I discovered the name for this, tuberous breast deformity. I'll admit I was devastated to associate the word 'deformity' with myself, yet also in a way, a bit relieved to understand there was a legitimate reason for my struggles.
Fastforward to my 30's... Pursued fat grafting. I chose not to alter the areolas (For myself, it was a balance of accepting myself and correcting the parts that hindered my life), but my wonderful Dr fixed the asymmetry, and filled out the shape. They're still not "perfect" by typical societal standards but I can wear soft, un-padded bras (AH SO COMFY!!) and don't feel so self conscious, and THAT means the world to me in going through my day.
I was originally ideologically against the idea of plastic surgery (In the idealistic 'everyone's perfect the way they are' way) so the moral struggle was definitely real. But just having someone speak about this with compassion and understanding the turmoil that TBD can inflict in some peoples' lives... Makes it easier to let go of some of the struggles with residual shame, and makes one feel so much less alone. So again, thank you!
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Cathy, I just want to thank you so much for this article! I think it's sad that some people don't see the compassion behind it. Accepting yourself as you are and choosing to be happy with your shape doesn't mean others should be judged for struggling and trying something different to make their life easier. All the power to those that are happy with themselves! But we all have different needs and paths.
March 17, 2016 - 9:08pmTo the person saying that you calling this a deformity could hurt peoples' self esteem, and how unempowering this is, I completely disagree. This is a medically recognized deformity, and there's plenty of clinical, cold literature out there for people to read about it. It impacts the lives of those who live with it, some more than others, and yet because it's an embarrassing topic there's so little real discussion about it.. Leaving many to feel very alone.
I too grew up confused about why my breasts didn't look like everyone else's, asymmetrical (one A cup, one B cup), big puffy areolas, far apart. Of course I thought they looked ugly, but worse to me were the heavily padded bras required to hide them. No bras fit properly, I avoided swimsuits/water like the plague, gave up on lots of styles of clothes I'd love to wear but couldn't, etc. None of my boyfriends ever had a problem with them, they just thought they were small but said they loved them. My long term ex forbade me from plastic surgery, when I mentioned the thought of it. At the time I just tried to reinforce accepting myself and suffered the horribly uncomfortable bras. When I was in my mid-20's I discovered the name for this, tuberous breast deformity. I'll admit I was devastated to associate the word 'deformity' with myself, yet also in a way, a bit relieved to understand there was a legitimate reason for my struggles.
Fastforward to my 30's... Pursued fat grafting. I chose not to alter the areolas (For myself, it was a balance of accepting myself and correcting the parts that hindered my life), but my wonderful Dr fixed the asymmetry, and filled out the shape. They're still not "perfect" by typical societal standards but I can wear soft, un-padded bras (AH SO COMFY!!) and don't feel so self conscious, and THAT means the world to me in going through my day.
I was originally ideologically against the idea of plastic surgery (In the idealistic 'everyone's perfect the way they are' way) so the moral struggle was definitely real. But just having someone speak about this with compassion and understanding the turmoil that TBD can inflict in some peoples' lives... Makes it easier to let go of some of the struggles with residual shame, and makes one feel so much less alone. So again, thank you!
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