It’s not you, it’s him. I’m in a similar position. I’ve become disabled and now my illness has reached the terminal stage. My wife can’t understand how I could be so strong and endure the hardships we’ve faced, then become this fading shadow. It’s BECAUSE I was so strong, because I endured and never complained, never sought help, never went to the hospital no matter how bad I felt, that my illness was not diagnosed until it was far too late. Your husband isn’t trying to hurt you or deliberately being mean, it’s a combination of fatigue brought on by his illness, guilt at not being able to do what he feels he should, and just general frustration misdirected at you because you’re the only one there. I hope you can find the patience and understanding to bridge the gap and come together again. For me it happened after I had almost completely separated our lives, I’d been sleeping on a sofa for a year and more, we never talked, only fought. I kept paying the bills and asking for nothing. When the money ran out I set up my handicap van to live in and got ready to leave, I intended to go live homeless on charity and government assistance so that I could use my SSDI check to share the family expenses with my wife so she wouldn’t have to struggle. At this point she came to me and made up, wouldn’t let me go off to die alone. It was her choice. I’m glad she chose to take me as I am, since then we’ve grown close again and are helping one another as best we can. Now we only argue while Im preparing for my death because she wants to believe I can recover. Good luck to you.
Comment Reply
It’s not you, it’s him. I’m in a similar position. I’ve become disabled and now my illness has reached the terminal stage. My wife can’t understand how I could be so strong and endure the hardships we’ve faced, then become this fading shadow. It’s BECAUSE I was so strong, because I endured and never complained, never sought help, never went to the hospital no matter how bad I felt, that my illness was not diagnosed until it was far too late. Your husband isn’t trying to hurt you or deliberately being mean, it’s a combination of fatigue brought on by his illness, guilt at not being able to do what he feels he should, and just general frustration misdirected at you because you’re the only one there. I hope you can find the patience and understanding to bridge the gap and come together again. For me it happened after I had almost completely separated our lives, I’d been sleeping on a sofa for a year and more, we never talked, only fought. I kept paying the bills and asking for nothing. When the money ran out I set up my handicap van to live in and got ready to leave, I intended to go live homeless on charity and government assistance so that I could use my SSDI check to share the family expenses with my wife so she wouldn’t have to struggle. At this point she came to me and made up, wouldn’t let me go off to die alone. It was her choice. I’m glad she chose to take me as I am, since then we’ve grown close again and are helping one another as best we can. Now we only argue while Im preparing for my death because she wants to believe I can recover. Good luck to you.
May 15, 2019 - 5:27pmThis Comment
Reply