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I agree whole heartedly with the sick husband who feels like a ghost and tries to get his caretaker to take a break when he's ill. My husband and I have been married 35 years and 11 years ago I began the grueling journey of autoimmune illnesses that stopped my career, made me so ill in so many different ways and my husband has been a saint through it all . All the way until 3 years ago he blew up and said he hated me because I was sick all the time. I thought that by never letting him get overworked again by outscourcing all my care would save our marriage but he wanted to "fix" me and I just can't be fixed. He can't deal with the guilt of leaving me and he's not, really. He's paying all the bills and a phone call will bring him to help for emergencies. We're trying a separation for 3 months to see if I can live with a man who hates illness and he can love a woman who is ill. Chronic illness is a heart breaker if ever there is one. I'm afraid of abandonment even though I don't blame anyone for needing to get away.