While I cannot relate in the MS experience, I can relate in the sense of what it is like to be a young person who is dealing with a spouse with significant medical issues. I sound awful saying this, but lately there are so many days where I really have come to hate the marriage vow term "in sickness and in health." Naively, I assumed this was something that would only happen occasionally in my 20's-50's, and expected it to be daily occurrence once we got old and were falling apart together (for lack of a better word). I thought we could enjoy our 20's in youthful bliss, but some back injuries changed this. His back injuries became rather severe due to his unwillingness to address them regardless of how much I begged him to seek treatment. When he eventually sought treatment, the problem was so bad that he could not sit 10 minutes without being in pain. This has literally destroyed everything we like to do. We can't hike, bike, kayak in the most extreme senses, but we also can't even go to a dinner party where his complaining makes it awkwardly miserable for myself or the hosts to even try to have a good time. He's destroyed my social life, and many of my friendships because he puts me in this awkward position where he makes me feel guilty for going without him but complains the whole time when I take him. I can't help but absolutely resent him for all of this. I feel held back in life, and I feel I am missing so many things in the world that I want to do, all because he refused to listen to me about taking care of the problems when they were small. I do so many things to accommodate his condition, and he just gets angry at me for trying to ease his burdens, which makes it even more difficult for me to resent him. Every day, I think more and more about leaving him, and I feel absolutely terrible that I even have these feelings.
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Amanda,
While I cannot relate in the MS experience, I can relate in the sense of what it is like to be a young person who is dealing with a spouse with significant medical issues. I sound awful saying this, but lately there are so many days where I really have come to hate the marriage vow term "in sickness and in health." Naively, I assumed this was something that would only happen occasionally in my 20's-50's, and expected it to be daily occurrence once we got old and were falling apart together (for lack of a better word). I thought we could enjoy our 20's in youthful bliss, but some back injuries changed this. His back injuries became rather severe due to his unwillingness to address them regardless of how much I begged him to seek treatment. When he eventually sought treatment, the problem was so bad that he could not sit 10 minutes without being in pain. This has literally destroyed everything we like to do. We can't hike, bike, kayak in the most extreme senses, but we also can't even go to a dinner party where his complaining makes it awkwardly miserable for myself or the hosts to even try to have a good time. He's destroyed my social life, and many of my friendships because he puts me in this awkward position where he makes me feel guilty for going without him but complains the whole time when I take him. I can't help but absolutely resent him for all of this. I feel held back in life, and I feel I am missing so many things in the world that I want to do, all because he refused to listen to me about taking care of the problems when they were small. I do so many things to accommodate his condition, and he just gets angry at me for trying to ease his burdens, which makes it even more difficult for me to resent him. Every day, I think more and more about leaving him, and I feel absolutely terrible that I even have these feelings.
December 29, 2015 - 7:00pmThis Comment
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