Pat ElliottExpertHERWriterGuideBlogger(reply to Anonymous)
Anon - Thanks for your candid, honest comments and sharing your story. While there is no way that I could say that I understand completely what you are feeling right now, I can say that as a leukemia patient I know that my perspective on many things has changed greatly since diagnosis and that it is often very different from that of healthy people. It makes sense to me that your wife doesn't understand your reasoning.
If you don't mind a suggestion, I think the two of you would benefit from some couples counseling where a trained, neutral third party could help ensure that you are communicating well with each other and ensuring that both of you have the opportunity, in a safe environment, to process the changes that have affected both of your lives since your diagnosis. You have more than the clinical elements of your medical condition to deal with, and if your journey is like that of most patients there's going to be less attention and support for your emotional needs than for the medical needs. I've found this is especially true for male patients. Ten years is a very long time, and assuming you love your wife as much as you say then before closing off all of your options and taking major steps like divorce I would honor that relationship by getting appropriate professional help to deal with the life-changing circumstances that both of you are in and tackling this situation together.
Take care,
Pat
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Anon - Thanks for your candid, honest comments and sharing your story. While there is no way that I could say that I understand completely what you are feeling right now, I can say that as a leukemia patient I know that my perspective on many things has changed greatly since diagnosis and that it is often very different from that of healthy people. It makes sense to me that your wife doesn't understand your reasoning.
If you don't mind a suggestion, I think the two of you would benefit from some couples counseling where a trained, neutral third party could help ensure that you are communicating well with each other and ensuring that both of you have the opportunity, in a safe environment, to process the changes that have affected both of your lives since your diagnosis. You have more than the clinical elements of your medical condition to deal with, and if your journey is like that of most patients there's going to be less attention and support for your emotional needs than for the medical needs. I've found this is especially true for male patients. Ten years is a very long time, and assuming you love your wife as much as you say then before closing off all of your options and taking major steps like divorce I would honor that relationship by getting appropriate professional help to deal with the life-changing circumstances that both of you are in and tackling this situation together.
January 14, 2011 - 4:25pmTake care,
Pat
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