I want to agree with Pat. I'm so sorry that your friend reacted off the cuff to your confiding in her. That must have been so hard for you to hear after you have kept this in for such a long time.
You've done nothing wrong. You are living this life day to day. And now you are considering the future, for each of you. There's nothing to feel shameful or guilty about. We do make vows, "in sickness and in health," and breaking those vows is incredibly difficult. But you are also thinking of your children, which is vital. They need a healthy environment in which to thrive. You are trying to balance all of these things in your thinking, as well as self-care.
I think that a two-year plan is a fabulous starting point. I think that by taking that time to plan and analyze, you will probably learn things that surprise you about how you feel. They might be positive or negative. But once we start really focusing on something in a different way, solutions also seem to come to us in a different way.
Did you read the thread Pat linked to, from those who have had to leave or consider leaving a sick spouse? Wonderful, sensitive people have shared their experiences there, and I think you'd feel not so all alone.
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Timeforme,
I want to agree with Pat. I'm so sorry that your friend reacted off the cuff to your confiding in her. That must have been so hard for you to hear after you have kept this in for such a long time.
You've done nothing wrong. You are living this life day to day. And now you are considering the future, for each of you. There's nothing to feel shameful or guilty about. We do make vows, "in sickness and in health," and breaking those vows is incredibly difficult. But you are also thinking of your children, which is vital. They need a healthy environment in which to thrive. You are trying to balance all of these things in your thinking, as well as self-care.
I think that a two-year plan is a fabulous starting point. I think that by taking that time to plan and analyze, you will probably learn things that surprise you about how you feel. They might be positive or negative. But once we start really focusing on something in a different way, solutions also seem to come to us in a different way.
Did you read the thread Pat linked to, from those who have had to leave or consider leaving a sick spouse? Wonderful, sensitive people have shared their experiences there, and I think you'd feel not so all alone.
Thinking of you with all the best.
June 23, 2010 - 10:05amThis Comment
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