I do try to help them, and I did help my daughter by getting her to understand that she could not change the MIL, she could only change how she reacts to her, and not fire up. Which she is very good at, but it is a real chore, and a real burden. For the little fellow, if his Gramma just once says anything nasty to him, she may not see him again. Like your DIL, my SIL never knew what a family was, a happy family that mucked around and joked and helped each other out - he was stunned. The first time he ate at our home my youngest dropped a plate full of hot food and we all rushed to help her, she had bare feet, and there was china and gravy and food everywhere - then, as we had already served up, we chipped in and shared our dinners with her. He has since told me that when she dropped the plate, he ducked, expecting me to explode at her for dropping it - and I said to him, she didn't want to drop her dinner, and he said that it didn't matter at his place because what ever happened was always considered as a personal attack by his mother - if his school bus was late, he was deliberately trying to upset her, and things like that.
He is the best father - he is so wonderful and loving to his little son, and they have another one coming in four weeks - I wish his mother would get proper therapy, but she is quite wealthy, and instead goes to all sorts of different mediums and people with 'miracle' cures - I don't know how to help them. My daughter resents that she has to work so hard to get along with MIL, and he does not with me, we are just friends, and I don't care if he goes to sleep on the chair - which is fine. But the friction for them is mounting, they know she will want to be the first to hold the baby, and be a real nuisance when they are trying to bond with their child, and establish breast feeding - which she doesn't really approve of.
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Thanks, Samiam.
I do try to help them, and I did help my daughter by getting her to understand that she could not change the MIL, she could only change how she reacts to her, and not fire up. Which she is very good at, but it is a real chore, and a real burden. For the little fellow, if his Gramma just once says anything nasty to him, she may not see him again. Like your DIL, my SIL never knew what a family was, a happy family that mucked around and joked and helped each other out - he was stunned. The first time he ate at our home my youngest dropped a plate full of hot food and we all rushed to help her, she had bare feet, and there was china and gravy and food everywhere - then, as we had already served up, we chipped in and shared our dinners with her. He has since told me that when she dropped the plate, he ducked, expecting me to explode at her for dropping it - and I said to him, she didn't want to drop her dinner, and he said that it didn't matter at his place because what ever happened was always considered as a personal attack by his mother - if his school bus was late, he was deliberately trying to upset her, and things like that.
He is the best father - he is so wonderful and loving to his little son, and they have another one coming in four weeks - I wish his mother would get proper therapy, but she is quite wealthy, and instead goes to all sorts of different mediums and people with 'miracle' cures - I don't know how to help them. My daughter resents that she has to work so hard to get along with MIL, and he does not with me, we are just friends, and I don't care if he goes to sleep on the chair - which is fine. But the friction for them is mounting, they know she will want to be the first to hold the baby, and be a real nuisance when they are trying to bond with their child, and establish breast feeding - which she doesn't really approve of.
Sorry - I am just offloading here!
March 27, 2010 - 4:55amThis Comment
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