Hey, I was really hoping to hear back from you yesterday. If you feel like talking I would be happy to talk to you. But you let me know. I can PM you my number if you would like. I couldn't imagine not having support from my family. Everyone is so glad I finally stopped the lying and hiding. I have gained weight. Not much in numbers, but it feels like a ton, but I know that is only because I, and my body are not used to it. I literally see muscle growing. I am beginning week 3 and I am finally starting to feel better. It is so sadly true how impossibly impossible it is to afford treatment. I think eating disorders should be considered as important. I struggled finding support from others who also are bulimic. I have yet to find one. I am going to an OA meeting this week, but I don't really have that problem. Since I began eating (and believe me, not what a normal person eats) and choosing not to purge, it gets EASIER! I eat small amounts almost nonstop all day. I mean like here is a typical day for me. Wake and have a nutrition shake, handful of almonds, small bowl of cereal, then a little later a bana, some more almonds, then a little later, a bowl of beans which I love. I spice them up with either salsa or cumin and garlic and other spices..black are my favorite, but any bean is good for protein and fiber. I will add in some pro-biotic greek yogurt and half an apple. later, a hard boiled egg, some more almonds, some cooked spinach (uncooked if organic). sometimes another shake. usually try and throw in a bowl of mashed potatoes somewhere in the day. lots of water and gadorade and green tea with ginger to aid in digestion. and then for dinner, i prepare a healthy meal for myself and my family but i only eat what i can handle which is usually portion sizes you would serve a child (only at dinner). but i eat what i know i can keep. i stop when my tummy tells me to, not the ED. I just listen to my body. It was so hard the first week, but I was determined to stick it out. I was bloated terribly for a while, but that is getting better. I try and eat very healthy. I am still very new in recovery. But I will say, I no longer want to throw up. I WANT to get better! my biggest fear was/is my insides. I am ocd and a bit of a hypochondriac. I am trying to seek counseling for that. I know I didn't mention meat. I only eat/feed my family organic meat, but I try and make up for it with other proteins.
I hope some of this helps! I hope to hear from you soon! You are worth recovery Darlin!
<3 Cindy

• Flag as offensive