The simple mother-daughter stress-reducing day at the spa — complete with perfect manicures and pedicures — has morphed into a full-fledged booming beauty business.
Giving young children a trip to the spa is a growing trend among parents.
Some spas now are giving their tween clients resort-type treatments and pint-size pampering. The offerings go beyond the typical painted nails.
"I feel it's part of hygiene. When it's appropriate and they need to, they'll be doing it," said Kelly Burrus, mother of 11-year-old Bella Burrus.
I don't want to go by that stand-by of "it's the parents fault" but this time, it is. And primarily the mothers'.
Where does one even start in terms of validating the need for an 11 year old to get a bikini wax? And chemical "treatments" for 6 year olds?
Here we go again. Mom is hanging on to her youth with whitened knuckles, trying to be the cool mom, wanting to be her kid's best friend and finds commonality with her daughter at the salon.
I have two tots, one is nearly 2 and one is 3. And I think it'll be really cute when we get to have a pedicure together. In 10 years. And only a pedicure. I am an avowed girlie girl. I believe in waxing, wearing a little makeup every day and styling my hair. It's not vanity, it's taking care of the temple that houses your soul. Personal appearance counts, whether we like it or not. And women feel great when they look good! So do men.
But this annoys me because I want to shake the mothers. Bikini waxes really have nothing to do with hygiene. That area of the body is self-cleaning and with daily showers, hygeine should not be a concern. I think these are the same mothers who pinch their daughters' tummies and 'joke' about all that extra puppy fat (and puppy fat talk should stop when the girl hits 3, if not before) or who allow their girls to die their hair and pluck their eyebrows when they are 8.
I just hate it, I hate all of it. Girls are gorgeous just by getting out of bed! Do we really need to state why all this adult spa/salon stuff is just wrong for kids? Isn't it obvious?
When will parents learn to be parents and stop tripping over themselves trying to bond with their children by pretending their children are their friends?
We can all be friends with our kids, but most parents know where that line is. The ones who don't allow them bikini waxes when they are 11. And then let them drink at home when they are 17 because at least they know where their kid is and they can control it. Oh and let's let them have sex in their bedrooms at 15 so at least we can put them on birth control and monitor things.
If this comparison seems fat-fetched, I don't believe it is. It stems from the same mindset. "I don't want my kids to hate me, I want to be the cool mom and I want to be known as open-minded and hip. "
I don't want to be an authoritarian mother but if my kids don't like me when they are 15, it's a pretty good sign I'm doing my job as a parent and I'll worry about the beat friend thing later.
"I believe in waxing, wearing a little makeup every day and styling my hair. It's not vanity, it's taking care of the temple that houses your soul. Personal appearance counts, whether we like it or not. And women feel great when they look good! So do men."
Susan, you have all the rights to say that you have so little to keep yourself busy that you find the time to:
1. Wax your body,
2. wear make-up every day,
3. style your hair...etc.
However, you don't have the right to generalize that for all women and say, "Personal appearance counts, whether we like it or not."
I don't think you've ever heard of Indra Nooyi, Angela Merkel or Condoleezza Rice, 'cause if you did, you'd not say "Personal appearance counts.."
So one little homework from all the women like me, to you: Google these women, then try to figure out (but with a pea-brain like yours...) whether their "personal appearance counted" for anything in their lives.
And you "like it or not", their are women who are marginally busier than you are with things like, say, running a business, or creating a software, and they don't have the time to engage in the heavenly activities you've referred to.
-Cynthia.
Maybe this is the result of girls growing up too fast because of the over-sexing of the media.
Yes, there's an adult at fault here. I get it, but media devoted to young girls, like MTV is constantly pushing the envelope and introducing girls to information made for older audiences.
Am I wrong?
by ToddHartley Posted: Mon., May 19, 2008, 11:47 am
I think so, Todd. That may be a simplistic (and typical finger pointing) thing - to blame the parents - but kids get their core values at home, not from the media. Core values are instilled in children from babies - and before the media bashes them upside the head with what's in, what's not, what's in next year, what's out. The media gets to kids fast, but we get to them faster.
My kids have never been in a Burger King, they don't know what a cigarette is and have no idea who Barbie is. We are not perfect parents by any means, but they already know right from wrong, and what is important. Treating people well, not judging by appearance and that all people are equal. They have good manners and have been taught to say hello and goodbye to people and say thank you to a waitress who brings them their food.
An 11 year old doesn't get to the salon by herself and she doesn't pay for the services. 99% of the time, it's Mom or Grandma.
The most important influence on a girl is her same sex parent (and a father to his son). No 11 year old girl is going to grow up and write a paper in grad school about how Hannah Montana made her who she is today. It's going to be her direct family.
I don't think I realized all this until I had my children and I see how I shape my 4 year old boy. He mimics me (and his Dad) and his values are our values. He may like Dora the Explorer but he doesn't copy her. He copies us.
We cannot run from the fact that as parents, we will form our kids. They can be influenced by the media and their peers, but it's the immediate family that shapes them. And that's scary because the pressure is intense on us parents. But that's what happened when we had a child.
And MTV? That can be removed from the TV by the touch of a parental switch. Or turn off the darn TV altogether. We have the power, not MTV. It may be hard, it may not always work, but we need to own the fact that the core values in our children - the ones that remain for life - begin and end with us.
Parents
I don't want to go by that stand-by of "it's the parents fault" but this time, it is. And primarily the mothers'.
Where does one even start in terms of validating the need for an 11 year old to get a bikini wax? And chemical "treatments" for 6 year olds?
Here we go again. Mom is hanging on to her youth with whitened knuckles, trying to be the cool mom, wanting to be her kid's best friend and finds commonality with her daughter at the salon.
I have two tots, one is nearly 2 and one is 3. And I think it'll be really cute when we get to have a pedicure together. In 10 years. And only a pedicure. I am an avowed girlie girl. I believe in waxing, wearing a little makeup every day and styling my hair. It's not vanity, it's taking care of the temple that houses your soul. Personal appearance counts, whether we like it or not. And women feel great when they look good! So do men.
But this annoys me because I want to shake the mothers. Bikini waxes really have nothing to do with hygiene. That area of the body is self-cleaning and with daily showers, hygeine should not be a concern. I think these are the same mothers who pinch their daughters' tummies and 'joke' about all that extra puppy fat (and puppy fat talk should stop when the girl hits 3, if not before) or who allow their girls to die their hair and pluck their eyebrows when they are 8.
I just hate it, I hate all of it. Girls are gorgeous just by getting out of bed! Do we really need to state why all this adult spa/salon stuff is just wrong for kids? Isn't it obvious?
When will parents learn to be parents and stop tripping over themselves trying to bond with their children by pretending their children are their friends?
We can all be friends with our kids, but most parents know where that line is. The ones who don't allow them bikini waxes when they are 11. And then let them drink at home when they are 17 because at least they know where their kid is and they can control it. Oh and let's let them have sex in their bedrooms at 15 so at least we can put them on birth control and monitor things.
If this comparison seems fat-fetched, I don't believe it is. It stems from the same mindset. "I don't want my kids to hate me, I want to be the cool mom and I want to be known as open-minded and hip. "
I don't want to be an authoritarian mother but if my kids don't like me when they are 15, it's a pretty good sign I'm doing my job as a parent and I'll worry about the beat friend thing later.
Posted: Mon., May 19, 2008, 11:34 am
to susanc
"I believe in waxing, wearing a little makeup every day and styling my hair. It's not vanity, it's taking care of the temple that houses your soul. Personal appearance counts, whether we like it or not. And women feel great when they look good! So do men."
Susan, you have all the rights to say that you have so little to keep yourself busy that you find the time to:
1. Wax your body,
2. wear make-up every day,
3. style your hair...etc.
However, you don't have the right to generalize that for all women and say, "Personal appearance counts, whether we like it or not."
I don't think you've ever heard of Indra Nooyi, Angela Merkel or Condoleezza Rice, 'cause if you did, you'd not say "Personal appearance counts.."
So one little homework from all the women like me, to you: Google these women, then try to figure out (but with a pea-brain like yours...) whether their "personal appearance counted" for anything in their lives.
And you "like it or not", their are women who are marginally busier than you are with things like, say, running a business, or creating a software, and they don't have the time to engage in the heavenly activities you've referred to.
-Cynthia.
Posted: Wed., June 18, 2008, 02:59 am
Mom's Fault?
Are you sure this is mom's fault?
Maybe this is the result of girls growing up too fast because of the over-sexing of the media.
Yes, there's an adult at fault here. I get it, but media devoted to young girls, like MTV is constantly pushing the envelope and introducing girls to information made for older audiences.
Am I wrong?
Posted: Mon., May 19, 2008, 11:47 am
Mom and Dad
I think so, Todd. That may be a simplistic (and typical finger pointing) thing - to blame the parents - but kids get their core values at home, not from the media. Core values are instilled in children from babies - and before the media bashes them upside the head with what's in, what's not, what's in next year, what's out. The media gets to kids fast, but we get to them faster.
My kids have never been in a Burger King, they don't know what a cigarette is and have no idea who Barbie is. We are not perfect parents by any means, but they already know right from wrong, and what is important. Treating people well, not judging by appearance and that all people are equal. They have good manners and have been taught to say hello and goodbye to people and say thank you to a waitress who brings them their food.
An 11 year old doesn't get to the salon by herself and she doesn't pay for the services. 99% of the time, it's Mom or Grandma.
The most important influence on a girl is her same sex parent (and a father to his son). No 11 year old girl is going to grow up and write a paper in grad school about how Hannah Montana made her who she is today. It's going to be her direct family.
I don't think I realized all this until I had my children and I see how I shape my 4 year old boy. He mimics me (and his Dad) and his values are our values. He may like Dora the Explorer but he doesn't copy her. He copies us.
We cannot run from the fact that as parents, we will form our kids. They can be influenced by the media and their peers, but it's the immediate family that shapes them. And that's scary because the pressure is intense on us parents. But that's what happened when we had a child.
And MTV? That can be removed from the TV by the touch of a parental switch. Or turn off the darn TV altogether. We have the power, not MTV. It may be hard, it may not always work, but we need to own the fact that the core values in our children - the ones that remain for life - begin and end with us.
Posted: Mon., May 19, 2008, 12:06 pm
So The Mom's Have Lost Their Minds?
Is that what I'm hearing? What mom would think this was acceptable?
Seriously...I need to know!
Posted: Mon., May 19, 2008, 03:37 pm
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