Hello,

This question is for Dr. Klein. I have a 10 year old daughter. I am married. I hope this is not a dumb question. My husband gets erection which is normal but sometimes when he is about to go to sleep and we are all laying on the bed and my daughter is next to him either resting her head on his chest or hugging him he gets an erection. I have asked him and he said that is because he is so relax and tired. I have issues trusting men that way, because that was the way I was brought up. Is my husband a pervert or that is nomal?

Hi there, and thanks for your question. We have forwarded your question to some great experts out there who can help you further. Please check back soon for some answers that can benefit you all.

In the meantime, if this situation is continuing, maybe your daughter could sleep in her own bed/room until you all have better peace of mind. Please trust your motherly instincts and your gut feeling, whatever those instincts or feelings may be.

Thank you for asking your question and please keep us updated.

We posed your question to counselor Addam Gross, MC, LPC, LLC, who responded with the answer below:

"Let me start my saying that this scenario is a very delicate situation and truly requires more in depth information to accurately assess, therefore it is recommended that if you and your husband have problems discussing sensitive issues, that you speak with a mental health professional that specializes in sexual disorders to help sort things out.

It is normal for a male to have 2 – 3 hours of erection during sleep cycles (nocturnal penile tumescence or NPT) associated with the rapid eye movement stage of sleep or better known as REM or the dreaming stage. The excitement phase of the sexual response cycle is marked by changes in the pelvic region, general physical arousal, and increase in heart rate, muscle tension, blood pressure, and rate of breathing. In men, blood pools in the pelvis and leads to erection of the penis. The precursor to erection is some sort of physical and or psychological stimulation outside of NPT.

From your question it appears that your husband is not sleeping but just in a stage of relaxation and then becomes aroused with the physical touch of your daughter on more than one occasion. I gather that when you ask if your husband is a “pervert” your concern is that your husband may have a sexual disorder relating to children. A person with this type of disorder, a Pedophile, gains sexual gratification from watching, touching, or engaging in sexual acts with prepubescent children, usually 13 years old or younger. Some people with pedophilia are attracted to adults as well as children and will often get satisfaction from seemingly innocent materials such as children’s underwear ads. It is not unusual for pedophiles to be married.

There are specialized tests to assess whether a person is sexually aroused by children through exposure to pedophilic materials while measuring blood flow to the male’s genitalia. Another sexual disorder of this nature that may have similar responses is Frotteurism. Frotteurism is the recurrent, intense, sexual arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving touching and rubbing against a nonconsenting person.

A word of caution, sexual disorders carry a heavy stigma and therefore it is recommended that these disorders are completely and accurately diagnosed by a professional with specialty in that area.

There are many questions to be answered in this scenario before any certain answer can be delivered.

In the mean time, it would be recommended that a healthier distance between your daughter and husband be maintained until the situation is completely assessed and resolved to minimize any potential traumatic risks for your daughter."

If you would like to learn more about Addam Gross, visit his Web site.

My husband and I have been married for 18 years. My husband and I feel as if we are in a rut as it relates to our sex life. We seem to do the same thing every time we have sex. We really enjoy our sex but it's always the usual same routine. That being said we do think we are long over due to explore some other things in the bedroom which would put more sizzle/excitement/enjoyment into our sex life. What would you recommend? Books or ideas?

I am a 46 year old female virgin. Lately my "in-between" has been swollen and my lower stomach feels a lot of pressure. Just want to release it. I am Bi-polar and am in the manic stage wanting to have sex, to release the pressure. I ordered a vibrator to help, but am just so "horny" NOW! I went to the Dr. and she said that my hormones are out of whack. I quit taking birth control pills that were to regulate my periods. My periods are now 3 days in lasting, but reuglar otherwise. They are very stringy whereas before they were blood clots a lot. What can I do? I don't want to have sex with just anyone, but having lots of problems controlling it. Am on Clozapine, Clonazepan, and Trileptical.
Help me please!!

I WAS WONDERING WHAT CAN MY HUSBAND DO TO PREVENT FROM PRE LONG EJACULATION QUICKLY IS THERE A WAY THAT HE CAN CONTROL THIS PROBLEM?

Hello Pretty83, By pre-long ejaculation, do you mean premature ejaculation? PE is a common sexual disorder that could be attributed to a number of factors including:

* Abnormal hormone levels
* Abnormal levels of brain chemicals called neurotransmitters
* Abnormal reflex activity of the ejaculatory system
* Certain thyroid problems
* Inflammation and infection of the prostate or urethra and
* Inherited traits.

Other reasons could include erectile dysfunction and anxiety. Psychological reasons might be situations in which he may have hurried to reach climax in order to avoid being discovered or guilty feelings that increase your tendency to rush through sexual encounters.

Fortunately, this is something that can be treated with the help of a doctors. Here's a few questions you might anticipate should you want to seek a medical professional's advice:

* How often you have premature ejaculation
* Whether you have premature ejaculation only with a specific partner or partners
* Whether you have premature ejaculation every time you have sex
* How often you have sex
* How you feel premature ejaculation affects your enjoyment of sex and your quality of life
* Whether you also have trouble getting and maintaining an erection (erectile dysfunction)
* Your use of prescription medications and recreational drugs;

Treatments can include psychotherapy, medications, antidepresssants, topical creams and the Squeeze technique. If you'd like to learn more about it, visit the Mayo Clinic's Web site.

I recently had sex, protected sex, however after wards I had a feeling that something might have gone wrong...how do I know if I'm pregnant? I can't wait for my period to come! I want to know as soon as possible, if I'm moist down there(white colour, wet)is that a sign that I am not pregnant?

Im very worried
please please email your response back
I will be waiting

okay one night i went out and got drunk fooled around with this guy, and while we were trying to have sex it wouldn't get hard or anything, and it would keep slipping out. would this be because we were drunk, and when your drunk you can't get hard?
also when we were haveing sex before his penis would keep slipping out and wouldn't stay in. would it be like that because i don't recieve my monthly? or would i be to tight. what would be the best to keep it in, we tried different positions but nothing would seem to work.
can you still get pregnant if you don't recieve your period?
can you answer asap
thanks

Hi Unsure, Thanks for your questions. Indeed drinking too much alcohol can cause what familydoctor.org calls erectile dysfunction. Drug abuse and smoking may also contribute to ED as well as psychological issues. If you'd like to know more about those, visit this link.

With regard to your periods, it sounds like you are no longer having them? Is that correct? I'd like to know a little bit more about you if you don't mind. Can I ask your age and have you talked to your doctor about missing your periods? Are you on birth control that would cause you to skip periods? Have you experienced a major weight loss lately or exercised more recently? Have you been ill or traveled?

The issue of slipping may be related to his ED or it could be a condition called vaginismus, which is relatively common. If you'd like to find out more, click this link from the Medline Plus Medical Encyclopedia. A gyno might be able to assist you.

And yes, you can still become pregnant even if you're not menstruating. Practice birth control if you're not looking to get pregnant.

Hello again, So you've been diagnosed with an ovarian cyst? How long ago? According to the American Pregnancy Association, because a woman releases an egg 12-16 days before her expected period, it is possible for women to get pregnant without having periods.

Women who are not menstruating due to a certain condition (i.e.…low body weight, breastfeeding, perimenopause) risk the chance of ovulating at any point. For those who want to conceive, the lack of periods could make it more difficult to know the timing of ovulation if you are not charting temperature and cervical fluid changes.

But if you are not having periods and wanting to prevent pregnancy, a form of contraception should be used since there is no way to know when ovulation will occur.

So I can still conceive? I don't have any temperature and cervical fluid changes?

hi! I thought I'd join in on the conversation, to offer some help.

There is a difference between menstruating ("a period") and ovulation ("releasing an egg"). I'm sure you know this already, but what Tina was referring to in her previous post is: just because a female does not have a period (menstruation) does not guarantee that she can not get pregnant, as the female may still ovulate at a future date. So, the main point is: woman should not define a lack of a period as a reliable form of birth control.

We, of course, do not know if you are still able to conceive. Do you ovulate? What have your doctors told you about your cyst(s)?

I re-read your original post, and am confused: are you trying to conceive or trying not to get pregnant?

Lastly, about the slipping out and wondering if you are too tight. Most likely, his slipping out does not indicate that your vagina is too tight, but I wonder if his penis is fully erect? Are you in a state of physical arousal (mentally and physically), and able to become well lubricated (either by you own body or using lubrication)? According to The Kinsey Institute, "Vaginas change is size during sexual excitement called "vaginal tenting", which makes the vagina both longer and wider."

One more resource for you, regarding your ovarian cyst (is that what you were diagnosed with?): American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG).

What has the doctor told you about your lack of periods? What has your doctor told you about your cysts?

Having a period, of course, is the BEST sign that you have ovulated, as the menstruation is the sloughing off of the cervical membrane after the released egg (ovulation) has not been fertilized.

Women do not need to see a doctor to know if they have ovulated...they can get to know their body to determine their ovulation cycle in several ways:

Signs of ovulation:
- Most women have a slight increase in their normal body temperature just after ovulation
- Most women have changes in how much mucus is produced by the cervix and how it feels around the time of ovulation
- Some women feel abdominal pain or cramps
- Some women have spotting
- Changes in the position and firmness of the cervix

To check your temperature:
"A woman using this method takes her temperature every morning before getting out of bed. She then records it on a graph. In this way, she is able to detect the increase in body temperature that signals ovulation has occurred. For this method to work, a woman must take her temperature every day. Temperature readings also may be affected by fever, restless sleep, or varying work schedules."

To check your cervical mucus:
"A woman checks regularly for mucus at the opening of the vagina and looks for such changes. However, false readings may be produced by vaginal infection, sexual excitement, and the use of lubricants for sex and certain medications."

Source: American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologist's Patient Education Page: http://www.acog.org/publications/patient...

hello DR. KLEIN. pls help me. im so worried. X_x
my gf and i jsut had sex. WE DID NOT USE A CONDOM.

she had her period on the 12th, its now the 22nd. though she had her last spotting( last phase of her period) on the 18th.

this is what happened:
i masturbated and ejaculated at around 4pm. we had sex 9 pm. but i urinated earlier between those hours.

i had pre cum on foreplay before i sticked it in and wiped it away. but when we did it(sex) around 10-15 mins after foreplay, i think i released some pre-cum inside her but most definetly did NOT ejaculate inside her, i pulled it out. YOU THINK I GOT HER PREGNANT??

soory im just so scared.

also when i pulled out my penis i saw at the back of my penis-head white blood secretion (as she calls it) and there was a lot of it. she mentioned that she started having the secretion 3 days ago.
AGAIN IS SHE PREGNANT?? OR IS IT EVEN POSIBLE? PLEASE DO HELP ME OUT. =(

oh just to add to my question. does that white blood secretion of hers in any way help kill any sperm in the pre cum??

thanks =(

Thanks for posting. We have forwarded your question to an expert in sexual health to get an answer for you. Hang in there. We should have a response in a day or two.

As far as timing, you are in what I call the HOT zone. According to your dates, you had sex 10 days after the first day of her last menstrual period. Most women are fertile about 10-14 days before their period and assuming that your girlfriend has a period every 28 days, you are right in the time that she would likely get pregnant.

The white secretions, of which you speak, may actually be a sign that she is ovulating right now. Cervical mucus changes at ovulation and will certainly not protect you from pregnancy; if anything, it aids in her ability to get pregnant.

Ejaculating before intercourse through masturbation or urinating prior to sex will not protect you from pregnancy either. There can be thousands if not millions of sperm in the pre ejaculate and you know it only takes one to get through!

So if you weren’t scared before, you should be now, and I haven’t even talked about sexually transmitted diseases that can be passed without using a condom (even if you don't ejaculate inside). It is also important to know that condom use alone is only about 85% effective meaning that there still is a 15% chance of getting pregnant while using a condom.

THE GOOD NEWS! You still have time for her to reach her doctor and get a prescription for the “Morning after Pill” which is prescribed as Preven or Plan B. They may also prescribe high doses of birth control pills. These methods are most effective if taken within 12 hours of unprotected intercourse and will prevent 7 out of 8 women that would have gotten pregnant from getting pregnant. Good luck and get going!
by
Dr Deb
www.drdebraines.com

I have never heard of this and I am 47 years old. I am recently remarried and my new husband masterbates while i am laying next to him asleep then wipes his sperm aggressively through my hair and then on my body. He has done this a lot and only when he thinks I am sleeping. I dont understand it when I am a beautiful woman and all he has to do is wake me or touch me or SOMETHING and i will sexually respond. I also recently found out he is going to websites on line looking at porn and also sites where you "Meet Horny Woman in your area" kind of stuff. When I ask him about it he denies it. So this morning he did it again. Before he leaves for work he masturbates in the other room this time (usually he waits until i am alseep then puts on some aggressive Independent Film Channel dark porn stuff and then does it next to me but this time he did it in the bathroom then came out and wiped his sperm all over me then happily got ready for work. HELP... is this normal... should I be afraid. Ive caught him with pics of girls butts on his cell phone too. I dont know what to do? ~EdieMarie