Ah stress - the great bonding agent for women! After having three children in two years, I spent way too much time telling people I was coping well, I had it all down and things were dandy. Things were ok - but not dandy. I was changing diapers, nursing and feeding toddler food all at the same time. I was running a home, hugging, kissing, caring, cooking, moderating and writing, and I didn't want anyone to tell me that my stress was my own fault for having a small squadron of children so quickly! In retrospect, I think I was a bit too proud to admit I needed some help. When my baby was born and my older kids were ages 1 and 2 (yes, in my home those ages are considered 'older'!), I finally took a breath and said "I need help". And people helped. The relief was almost instant. Life is still stressful but if someone wants to hold the baby while I change a diaper - I let them. If someone offered to feed a child, I let them. Most importantly, I told my husband how hard it was and how the exhaustion was numbing me. When I wasn't numb, I was the opposite - my heart raced and I could feel my blood pressure rise from simply being overwhelmed. I even half-jokingly said to myself "I'm gonna have a heart attack!" when things got to be too much. And so my husband jumped in more - offered before being asked - and the stress lessened. It was surprising how quickly it happened. I still don't get to relax much (who does?) but letting go and asking for help was key for me. Less stress has made me a better mother, wife, friend, writer and human being. I probably did my heart a favor too. My biggest fear was that people would think I was a failure for not handling everything at record pace. And it turned out that people had thought it rather odd that I was handling everything at record pace. "Wow," I thought. "This whole women-need-help thing is really cool!" Women are supposed to be superwomen and I don't know why or how that notion started. And we keep our stress to ourselves because maybe we don't want to admit that we're...human. And then when one of us has heart failure, everyone wonders how something like that could happen to a woman who could cope with anything... I can do it all! But I can't do it all at the same time. And that's ok.

I love yoga! It is great for stress relief and it's also a great workout. If you haven't tried it before, you don't know what you are missing. I personally can't do the Flow class, because they heat the room for that one. Try a basics class!

Have you ever met a "naturally tense" person? That used to be me! I'd get so wound up about things that I would feel as though my heart was pounding through my chest or I'd suddenly come down with a debilitating migraine, usually over something out of my control. I'm a perfectionist by nature, but learned over time to relax, focus on what's really important in life and let go of what I cannot control. These are my easy, self-proven strategies for busting stress, no yoga or meditation necessary: 1) Breathe. Like the song goes, "just breathe." 2) Laugh. Share a joke, read the comics, watch a funny movie. 3) Stretch. Shake out your tensions and do some gentle stretches. 4) Clear the clutter. Chase away the feeling of being overwhelmed by clearing out a drawer or cabinet. 5) Exercise. Do some gardening or take a brief walk. 6) Go mindless. Clear the clutter in your head, listen to soft, calming music or sounds. 7) Socialize. Call a friend, chat with a neighbor. Positive interaction breaks tension. 8) Create. Busy fingers refocus your mind on positive activity. 9) Quiet the noise. Light a fragrant candle, turn off the TV, savor a cup of herbal tea. 10) Hugs. Hugging someone or your pet is better than chocolate.* *Someone just told me that there's nothing better than chocolate. OK, so let me clarify - hugs have 0 calories, and it should be dark chocolate you reach for, lol!